Long time no see, still in Turkey

Wow, it's been over 3 months in Turkey and I haven't blogged anything. I do think of things about Turkey that I want to blog but life is faster here, especially after having been away nearly 3 years. So what have I been doing in Turkey?

Fisherman boats on the Bosphorus on a Sunday, when everything suddenly moves slower.

As I arrived I spent 2-3 weeks with my parents. They are growing older and I am staying in Turkey less and less so I thought I shall be a good son. And I did it. I repaired all sorts of things, helped them change their TVs and PCs, went out for meals with them and even volunteered after so many years to get my old room painted. Wow, so many memories were painted on those walls and it felt good to finally let go of all those (see picture).

My room was too full already when I left Istanbul 12 years ago but my dad kept on putting stuff on
the walls which eventually turned it into a hard place to relax (dogs by the head of my bed???)

Then I went out to meet friends. And again another wow, everybody had grown up (not me:). Funny enough the first bunch I met were my primary school friends which I hadn't seen for like 20 years (thanks to facebook these kind of things are possible now). And they all had kids, jobs and some extra weight. Why do I feel like I shall not let myself grow up or grow old? Anyways, it feels better this way. I feel like a child and I am old enough to feel good to die today.

We made two Juggling Picnics on one of the islands in Istanbul and they were both so much fun, great music and
many juggling friends. We even swam the second time; it had been so many years since I swam in Istanbul last.

And we also went to celebrate the European Juggling Day on the same day with Aeronautics Day
and even at the same venue by Sapanca Lake near Istanbul. And I refuse to grow up!

Then I met more and more friends. Those who haven't married since 2006 had been busy making babies. Aha I see it! You grow up and you make kids, and nobody asks you what you are doing with your life, great, isn't it? It's the easy way out guys and I'm taking no shortcuts. I have no fixed targets for this life, I am living. Anyway, those who have not done these or at least those who haven't made children, grew their businesses. I was even offered jobs by some of my friends who now have their companies, very flattering -in the sense that I'm still free to say no to all of these. But I accepted the insurance bit so now I'm officially the editor of one of my best friend's company and I am indeed editing stuff.

I have to admit, one thing I missed most about Turkey was the food. So on the first opportunity
I made it to the nearest weekly market and got all different kinds of olives, ...

cheese, ...

and nuts and dried fruits.

Of course I also had a culture shock but much milder then I expected, because I expected it, and as I expected it it was about Turkey having a much more tense and rough feeling than SE Asia. I have been enjoying living in places where people smile, are relatively kind with each other (or at least don't fight continuously) and where men are not so charged with testosterone (except the sexpats of course). Apart from these regular annoyances, Turkey in general and Istanbul in particular has become much more fearful and closed. People feel darker and they are made to be afraid of everything. But perhaps that's a world trend these days and I feel it more here because I'm from here.

And another wow goes to the police state. Turkey has never been really democratic but now things are getting quite openly fascistic and people are all silent about it. It is a sad situation. You see police everywhere and they no more look like cops but more like soldiers. Whenever there are demonstrations of any kind (even the May Day) police has a showdown of beating people on the streets, not because they do anything wrong, but because their idea of democracy is vote every so many years and keep silent the rest of the time.

Hundreds of police protecting people. But then, why don't we feel safe?
And who's gonna protect people from the police?

And there is this Ergenekon case. It is very strange. It is a case to uncover the counter-terrorist involvements of the government and the army. The Turkish army has staged coup-detats too many times in the past to be seen as innocent and the evidence against them (for illegally killing thousands of people, provoking unrest to take power, supporting terrorists to have a reason to fight and so on) is massive. Yet the secular people of Turkey (unfortunately they have gone into minority these days) still hope that they will come and save the country from the islamists. And when I ask they say "we cannot fight the islamists because they are armed from head to toe and even their women take kungfu courses to fight, so we need the soldiers against them"! Very dangerous stuff. But with this Ergenekon case they started to arrest people without charges and keep them in prison for months without telling them why. And they are also arresting opposition. It has become a typical fascistic clean up operation which puts everybody in fear.

A strange thing happened. Within my first week of arrival and two days after I made a conference call with friends from around the world and had to listen to my mom going on about being very careful of what I say on the phone because they are all being wiretapped, I received a call from a police officer. He introduced himself and asked me my name, asked me for how long I use this phone. Meanwhile I could hear from the background the noise of the police radio and he was cutting me to answer those sometimes. Then he told me that my sim card had been copied by one guy with the name of this and this and he is a member of a terrorist organisation and if there are any charges brought against him I will have to share the charges as the owner of the phone! So what he offered was a procedure to stop me from using this number without letting him know. But he also told me if I told about this story to anyone it would mean that I am guilty and trying to fool the police. He asked me to keep the phone on, him being on the line, put it in my pocket and go to the car. Meanwhile I tried to give a sign to my dad to call my brother but he has hearing problem and it was a very funny situation; he called all the wrong people and I couldn't talk to him loud because the guy was in my pocket :) And so I went to the car and he asked me to go to the nearest shop and buy a ready to use mobile phone card and come back. Finally my brother was called and I learned from the guy working with him that this is a nowadays common scam and he received the same call. It's so amazing. Really well planned and well acted police impersonation and 20 minutes with me on the phone line. For what? For stealing some phone credits from me! I just cannot believe it. That's the thing: when police start t0 act like mafia, then mafia start to act like police. When I called the phone company to give his number to them they told me there are thousands of such cases and that they are trying to figure out how to deal with it. Welcome to Turkey!

Then I left Istanbul and went South to where some friends live in villages. It was great to see them and live with animals for some time but the stories of last year were just shocking. It seemed that last year all relationships were shattered in somewhat unexpected ways. At least some of the ways the dramas took place were just too far out. My jaw dropped and stayed that way for a couple of weeks. But most relationships survived after transformation and everybody had the feeling of having been washed with tears.

My friends' Saanen goats give much milk which turns into the best quality goat cheese.

Friends in the village practicing for the evening session. It's quite sad that it has become nearly impossible
to be a humble farmer and survive economically. All these people have gardens and animals
but they depend on the income from the music they make. And they make great music.

Then I went to the gathering, where I couldn't stay long. But some truly sad things happened there, really really sad. So I went at the end to sort the energy out and had some nice time as well. But I'm still trying to recover from the effects and trying to understand how to learn from this experience.

The first site of the gathering. Looks good but terribly wrong choice while
we had a perfect site 20 minutes down the hill where some of us later had to move to.

A little down from the gathering site we had a very nice little river with pools
and all sorts of magical spots. We found one and had a 6 day retreat there.

Then I went on a little tour of coastal Turkey where some other friends are settled. I went to Domuz Cukuru, or Pigs Bay, a remote beach that some friends rented and restored into a backpackers resort. Nice place, really remote, 30 minutes boat from the nearest road. And really beautiful as well. If they can financially survive this season I'm sure that place will be the next Butterfly Valley for the backpackers.

Turkey has stunning landscapes around the south coast.
This one is from near Fethiye, coming down to Kabak valley from Alınca.

Turkey has a Dead Sea as well. Here it is. It's not dead at all. Beware of the raining parachuters.

Pigsbay is a big deep valley with no roads, really peaceful.

And the sea on Pigsbay was sooo deep blue, sooo crystal clear, so amazing.

And I went to Kaz Dağları where some friends have been busy with ecological developments and also making babies. My closest friends there also had their share of whatever strange influence there was last year on their relationships but now seem pretty grounded which made me happy. They had two girls, both very beautiful and I really enjoy playing with the little 6 months old one. But it also made me see that it is a very wise decision for myself to not have kids. It's so much responsibility and compromise of freedom. And also it is an easy way out of realising oneself, having to answer life's questions.

Two of my best friends in Kaz Dağları, Tamahine and her second daughter Rüya.
When I look at them it does feel like it may be a blessing to have kids, but quite certainly not for me.

Now I'm back in Istanbul trying to sort out visas and tickets. I'm going to Ukraine... or maybe not... perhaps I'll go to Egypt, to Sinai... or shall I just say it's enough and go back to SE Asia... I keep remembering the saying

God is laughing whenever we talk of our plans.

I'm in Istanbul, a city to fall in love with at first sight and hate after a couple of months. So I make sure I leave soon. That's the plan.