My very personal statistics of South East Asia

I have been in South East Asia for over 20 months now. There are things I’m happy to have done and places I want to go back to. Here is a brief list, some statistics and toplists I’d like to share, for those who are asking those questions “which country is best for a 2 weeks holiday in July, and we’d like to dive and see some volcanoes and make it cheap?”

Countries visited : 8
Countries really visited : 7 (OK, the visit to Myanmar was a little brief.)
Countries really visited that were really in SE Asia : 6 (well, China doesn't count for SE Asia, does it?)

The shortest visit to a country : Myanmar, a total of 15 minutes in 2 visa runs (because second time I had to buy some cigarettes for a friend)

Will you tell us which countries?: Sure. They are (in order of visit) Thailand, Myanmar (Burma), Malaysia, China, Laos, Indonesia, Cambodia and Philippines.

Countries missing: Only Vietnam
What about Singapore?: I was there 16 years ago. It can’t have changed much.

Nicest big city : Bangkok (reminds me of Istanbul)
Biggest name for a nice big city : Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Yuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit which is Bangkok

Nicest historic city : Dali, China (photo)

The flattest capital ever: Vientiane, Laos (just really flat)

The easiest country to find someone to ask directions: Philippines (where English is spokening!)
The hardest country to find someone to ask anything: China (where even speaking basic Chinese don’t make enough sense since its pronunciation is harder than French.)

Best food : Penang, Malaysia (great choice of Malay, Chinese, Indian, Western and Nyonya food) (photo)
Hardest time to find food : Ramadan in Indonesia (don't do it!)
Hardest time to find anything : Christmas in Cambodia (don't do it!)

"World's Oldest Jungle" : Taman Negara, Malaysia (go there)

Best riverside chill out location : Khanchanaburi, Thailand (especially after being in Bangkok just a few hours before.)

Most common name for a guesthouse: Riverview (surely there is a view wherever there is a river.)

Most guitars per person : Indonesia (I love it) (photo)

The coolest back-to-future feeling : Riding the skytrain in Bangkok looking at a local newspaper and realizing it is year 2550.

The simplest toilets : China (simple they are and for the rest just use your imagination freely)

"Best" leader around : King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand (who is also the world's longest reigning monarch today, this year is his 61st.)

Most corrupt leaders around : Cambodia, or maybe Indonesia, or no no Philippines perhaps. Well, it’s so hard to say.

Most colorful marine life : Weh Island, Aceh Province, Sumatra, Indonesia (where I finally took a diving course)

Weirdest food I ate : Iced prawns, Kampot, Cambodia (which are just raw prawns on ice)
Weirdest food I didn't eat : Fried scorpions, Bangkok, Thailand
Weirdest food I tried and fully enjoyed: Balut, chicken embryos, Philippines (that is fertilized chicken egg with a hint of the developing chick inside. Supposedly an aphrodisiac and a high energy food. Non-vegetarian.)
Weirdest drink I had : Bird's nest drink, Cambodia (actually made of the nest of the swallow accurately called the edible-nest swallow!)

Worst bus ride : Medan to Banda Aceh, Sumatra (it rained on us inside the bus.)
Best bus ride : Banda Aceh to Medan, Sumatra (of course, this time we paid for a super-executive bus.)

Three most daring rides I did on a 100cc motorbike :
3- Samosir Island, Sumatra, September ‘07 (we had to see the lake on an island on a lake on an island but we trusted the map a bit too much)
2- Bokor Hill, Cambodia, December ‘07 (this time we trusted the bike rental guy who said "no, no, there are just some stones but this small bike is better than the big ones", and had a flat tire on the half way and ended up spending 4 hours going up and down dusty roads and slept during the new year.)
1- Tiger Hill, Penang, May ‘07 (after a rainy day, alone this time, I got the directions wrong and ended up on a 20 cm wide muddy walking path in the thick of the jungle and just made it out before dark with very little gas.)

Most flat tires : 3 times in 1 week in Cambodia
Most inspired name for a repair shop : Non-Triangle Services, Teluk Bahang, Penang
The repair shop you’d better avoid: Freakish Service, Bali

Most luxury room I stayed: Jinhong, China (I had no verbal communication with anyone in the city and ended up in this shiny hotel but first time ever, I had cable TV, AC, hot water, luxury decoration and even a tea machine and free condoms for less than $7.)

Least luxury room : Rona (Sputnik) Guesthouse, Medan (oh my god, do I miss India?)

Nicest, cheapest and most traditional room : Tuk Tuk Timbul, Lake Toba, Sumatra (a real old big Batak house right on the lakeside for $2 a day) (photo)

Most unnecessary item that one finds even in the cheapest rooms in Cambodia: cable TV
Most necessary item that one cannot find even in the costly rooms in Indonesia: mosquito screen (as if Indonesian mosquitoes are better behaved than Thai mosquitoes)

Nearest death experience : Tubing on Bohorok River, Bukit Lawang, Sumatra (we’ll take a guide next time.)

Cheekiest monkeys : National Park in Penang, Malaysia (they just ignore you while going into your bag.)

Easiest way to find drugs in all these countries : have dreadlocks (anywhere anytime)
Best way to avoid being hustled for drugs because you do not use them: cut the dreadlocks (Come on, why do I have to be a smoker only because I have the same hair style with Bob Marley? I don’t do it, seriously.)

Closest feeling to another planet : Merapi Volcano summit, Sumatra (photo)

Best on-board music : The minivan ride from Sihanoukville to Kampot, Cambodia (oldie rock and punk)
Worst on-board music : The boat from Penang (MY) to Medan (IN) (cheapest Indonesian video karaoke made with a single but noisy keyboard)

Best way to wake up : by sunrise near Lake Toba, Sumatra
Worst way to wake up : before sunrise by the noise of the preaching in the great mosque in Medan, Sumatra

Best market for anything : Jatujak weekend market, Bangkok
Best second hand clothes markets: Philippines

Coolest looking fisherman boats : The catamarans of Bali with eyes and a mouth to ward of evil spirits. (photo)
Coolest one-man vehicle : police two-wheelers in Bangkok
Most comfortable tricycles: Siem Reap, Cambodia (apparently adopted from horse carts)
Least comfortable tricycles: Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte, Philippines (how come they never thought it could rain in a country where there are 30 typhoons a year?)
Most insanely overloaded public transport: Indonesia

The tranciest trance experience: Kesiman temple, Denpasar, Bali

The most noticeable hilarities:

Best names:
Services: Non-Triangle service (Penang), Freakish Service (Bali)
Restaurants: Full On Restaurant (Siem Reap)
Shops: New Open Shop (Siem Reap)
Bands: Chakrasonic (India)
Taxi: Hard Drive Taxi (Baguio)

Best Ads:
- Angelina Jolie was here before you! (Red Piano Restaurant in Siem Reap near Angkor ruins where she shot the film Tomb Raider.)
- We don't serve dog, cat, rat or worm (and this is the advertisement for a restaurant named Dead Fish in Phnom Penh)
- Lonely Tonite? Confused in Gender? Why don’t try Mixwell Lounge & Bar (Bali)

Best mottos and signs:
- We deliver like there’s no tomorrow (a Filipino cargo company )
- When the going gets hot (on the main façade of Baguio Fire Station)
- Avoid penalty, Sit properly (on park benches in San Fernando)


Wisest, smartest and cutest women of all : of course the Igorots of the Philippines (hi Maya)